Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Friggin' Tattoos Anyway

Women and tattoos. Hate it. It's nice that they have colors to them, now. You can have 'pretty' little rainbow colored teddy bears, butterflies, flowers, and dragons in a multiplicity of designs and sizes. Whatever. Personally,  it's too much of a commitment. It would be like having to wear the same necklace every day. Nice at first, but increasingly boring, unable to be matched with every outfit, and wearing out, turning your neck green...well, you get the point. And everyone seems to think they have to get a 'tat', to memorialize their children's names and birth dates, or to pick some cool, Asian symbol of happiness, or Native American fertility goddess thing. Yawn. A proper use of tattoos would be the following, non-exhaustive list, and much more beneficial for all:

If caught in adultery, a tramp stamp of "CHEATER!" should be applied- ditto for anyone with STD's. "BEWARE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE!!"

"Registered Sex Offender, 1998, 2000, 2 counts in 2004"
"Warning: I am really crazy and will ruin your life!"

Sadly, there's no truth in advertising. Although, perhaps a black widow spider tattoo would serve as somewhat of a warning. I prefer my skin all skin-colored. If I ever had the whim to be design stamped, it would need to be very temporary, or a masterpiece to rival the Mona Lisa. And it seems that everyone does it just to be like everyone else. How original is that?

My daughter Katie is here today. She has no desire for a tattoo. She doesn't even have her ears pierced. I love that. She is asking me to cook her some grits. I taught her well .Grits with cheese and butter, the lovely legacy of my southern roots. It's hard to find grits on a menu anywhere here, but you can still buy Quaker at the grocery store.

No comments:

Post a Comment