Friday, March 28, 2014
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Friggin' Tattoos Anyway
Women and tattoos. Hate it. It's nice that they have colors to them, now. You can have 'pretty' little rainbow colored teddy bears, butterflies, flowers, and dragons in a multiplicity of designs and sizes. Whatever. Personally, it's too much of a commitment. It would be like having to wear the same necklace every day. Nice at first, but increasingly boring, unable to be matched with every outfit, and wearing out, turning your neck green...well, you get the point. And everyone seems to think they have to get a 'tat', to memorialize their children's names and birth dates, or to pick some cool, Asian symbol of happiness, or Native American fertility goddess thing. Yawn. A proper use of tattoos would be the following, non-exhaustive list, and much more beneficial for all:
If caught in adultery, a tramp stamp of "CHEATER!" should be applied- ditto for anyone with STD's. "BEWARE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE!!"
"Registered Sex Offender, 1998, 2000, 2 counts in 2004"
"Warning: I am really crazy and will ruin your life!"
Sadly, there's no truth in advertising. Although, perhaps a black widow spider tattoo would serve as somewhat of a warning. I prefer my skin all skin-colored. If I ever had the whim to be design stamped, it would need to be very temporary, or a masterpiece to rival the Mona Lisa. And it seems that everyone does it just to be like everyone else. How original is that?
My daughter Katie is here today. She has no desire for a tattoo. She doesn't even have her ears pierced. I love that. She is asking me to cook her some grits. I taught her well .Grits with cheese and butter, the lovely legacy of my southern roots. It's hard to find grits on a menu anywhere here, but you can still buy Quaker at the grocery store.
If caught in adultery, a tramp stamp of "CHEATER!" should be applied- ditto for anyone with STD's. "BEWARE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE!!"
"Registered Sex Offender, 1998, 2000, 2 counts in 2004"
"Warning: I am really crazy and will ruin your life!"
Sadly, there's no truth in advertising. Although, perhaps a black widow spider tattoo would serve as somewhat of a warning. I prefer my skin all skin-colored. If I ever had the whim to be design stamped, it would need to be very temporary, or a masterpiece to rival the Mona Lisa. And it seems that everyone does it just to be like everyone else. How original is that?
My daughter Katie is here today. She has no desire for a tattoo. She doesn't even have her ears pierced. I love that. She is asking me to cook her some grits. I taught her well .Grits with cheese and butter, the lovely legacy of my southern roots. It's hard to find grits on a menu anywhere here, but you can still buy Quaker at the grocery store.
Monday, June 6, 2011
All about the Want
Doesn't it seem that we are trained from the very beginning that it is almost wrong to want? Why is that? I understand that there are people in China who are starving. I understand that children in Africa struggle to survive and are denied even the basics of health, education, and human rights. It would seem that these things are taught to us when we are children to give us perspective; teach us to know gratitude. But the unbalanced interpretation of this teaching can make us feel that all of our wants are petty and vain. We are taught that we should be grateful for what we have, and not worry about what we do not have. Children should not be spoiled, but we also need to instill a healthy belief that dreams are good, goals are vital, and that it is O.K. to have desire. Nothing is truly accomplished by those who have no passion, no 'want to' in life. Besides, who is going to help the people in Africa if nobody gets and education and dares to move?
Gratitude for what we have and who we are is very important. But I think we get it twisted when we deny ourselves the healthy side of want. But that is what we do. "I would love a new car, but ...some people don't have any transportation at all, I should just be happy with what I have". It's actually a combination of a self-imposed guilt trip mixed with a built-in excuse to not ever try. And, if we allow ourselves to want, and we fail to get, why- that might be painful. Worse, do we truly believe we 'deserve' to have anything?
Phrases like, "Who does she think she is?", "What makes YOU so special?", "Why should HE have that when I don't?", and on and on teach us that good things come haphazardly, randomly. It's easy to have bitterness and resentment of others, because we refuse to do what we need to do to have the same thing! It is not true, despite urban legend, that life's goodness just falls on certain people like lottery winnings. This kind of thinking also seems to set- up a belief system that life just isn't fair, good fortune is all about luck, and that is why sometimes the just are not rewarded, while the wicked flourish.
Turns out a lot of that is just a bunch of crap. The people who get what they want allow themselves to want it, know what they want very clearly, and let nothing stop them. The wicked people of the world aren't usually the ones hung up on how their evil ways make them undeserving, and yet the generally decent but misguided self-flagellate and refuse to allow themselves to succeed. We stand in our own way, through lack of faith, lack of vision, lack of desire, and somehow feeling that to have what we want is wrong.
I am no fan of excess , luxury, greed, and wanton pursuit of pleasure. There is a difference between hedonism , however, and success.
Poverty mindsets get handed down through generations. It takes a lot of insight and sometimes a complete, deep reworking of our belief system to get beyond them. A poverty mindset is a self-limiting and destructive force that will run our lives for us, if we let it. It's that ugly voice that guards the wall between where we are, and where we haven't dared to even dream we could be.
Many never see that wall for what it is, much less question it. Some of us attempt to scale it, but it works with our fears, magnifies them, and we give up. We lie to ourselves and come up with convoluted plans on how to take that wall down...one day. Tomorrow. After we get more tools. Maybe after we take a class on Wall breaking. Next month, after this stress subsides....on and on. So, we let it win. Some of us will see it for what it is, and just completely bulldoze it. If we can't get ahold of a bullldozer, we can get a ladder and scale the wall. We will not use any excuses. It just comes down. That's when we can truly begin to live.
When the wall comes down, we finally see all the dreams and possibilities that were always there. We also see that while many people live lives in abject poverty, we were born with opportunities and freedom. Why would we deny the sacrifices of our forefathers to allow us to have what we have, and dishonor our blessing by throwing it away? Does it help starving children in Africa if I drive a beat- up car, or refuse to work on my talents? Does it honor sick, uneducated people if I also don't take advantage of educational opportunities, or other means to improve myself? No!
Do I deserve "it"? What I deserve in this life is what I believe I deserve, first and foremost. My actions will bring me what I have given out - but it may be now or later. I don't believe that I deserve sickness or illness, but rather health That extends to my emotional , and even financial health as well. As long as I let mistakes that I have made be my judge, and punish myself through denial, I will remain behind the wall.
What if, instead, we treated ourselves with the same grace and forgiveness we give our friends? WOW! I never judge my friend's mistakes and decide what they 'should ' deserve or 'should not"! Why do I do that to myself? Can you just imagine this conversation?
Friend Joy calls me up on the phone. "Hey, Lee, this is Joy. I have been racking my brain for an answer to this problem I have been having, and I think I have a great idea. Here's what I want to do, and it will allow my family to stop worrying about bills, go on vacation, pay off debt, save for retirement and get new hairstyles!" Joy is very excited and tells me she is writing a book, or recording a song. I know that Joy has tried this before, and did not reach the goals she had set previously. Also, I really love Joy and and she has always been a great friend. So, would I be a jerk and say to her, " Well, Joy... I am not sure about this plan. I mean, you tried this before, and it didn't work out. Maybe it's because you just don't deserve it. What you really deserve is to work your ass off for the rest of your life. I mean, C'mon, Joy. Dreams? Why should YOU have that when I don't, anyway? Why don't you get your head out of the clouds, girlfriend?"
Can you imagine?! Most of us would never treat a friend like that, never say or feel things like that. Yet ,we do it to ourselves. Can we not even muster up enough appreciation and love to treat ourselves with love? Kindness? Encouragement? Can't we see how vital these things are for the person we spend the most time with, the one we rely on most? Nobody can do this for us. Even for the fictitious example, "Joy", anytime we speak our minds or hearts to our friends, whether we encourage or discourage, ultimately the choice to truly live or simply exist comes down to the individual. So, going to person after person to bolster our dreams and encourage us is wonderful to an extent. Finally, though, we have to decide to act.
Faith and belief in ourselves need NOT come from looking back on our previous experiences to gauge our likelihood of success. We can learn from our mistakes, but we should not use those mistakes as a reason to give up. If everyone did that, Thomas Edison would not have come up with the light bulb. He flopped on that one over, and over, and over again. Most people would have given up. Those who don't- will succeed, one way, or another.
So, first- allow yourself to have a dream.
Determine what you really want, but allow for a surprise.
Weigh the cost. Understand the sacrifices. Anything worth going after will require hard work, time, and a focus of energy , possibly bordering obsession. Do you REALLY want it? Why? Have a clear why.
In addition to sacrifice, are you willing to continue when things get hard? Take it day by day.
Finally, Are you afraid to have what you want , based on an unhealthy poverty mindset? Remember, you share your wealth of experience and resources with others. If you are not being greedy and selfish, why feel guilty for having? You should not.
Again, remember to treat yourself with the same grace, kindness, and encouragement that you would a very good friend. Be honest and truthful with yourself. Ok, maybe the truth is that you are NOT good at singing despite much love and hard work, but you are a good songwriter, or promoter, or talent scout. That's ok, too. It doesn't mean you failed- look for another outlet for your love of singing and music, or just enjoy it in the car or shower. :) A dream diverted does not mean a dream denied. Dreams should fit , to a possible degree, with who we are.
So, know yourself. Don't get stuck on this step, though. Some people never find themselves...
Gratitude for what we have and who we are is very important. But I think we get it twisted when we deny ourselves the healthy side of want. But that is what we do. "I would love a new car, but ...some people don't have any transportation at all, I should just be happy with what I have". It's actually a combination of a self-imposed guilt trip mixed with a built-in excuse to not ever try. And, if we allow ourselves to want, and we fail to get, why- that might be painful. Worse, do we truly believe we 'deserve' to have anything?
Phrases like, "Who does she think she is?", "What makes YOU so special?", "Why should HE have that when I don't?", and on and on teach us that good things come haphazardly, randomly. It's easy to have bitterness and resentment of others, because we refuse to do what we need to do to have the same thing! It is not true, despite urban legend, that life's goodness just falls on certain people like lottery winnings. This kind of thinking also seems to set- up a belief system that life just isn't fair, good fortune is all about luck, and that is why sometimes the just are not rewarded, while the wicked flourish.
Turns out a lot of that is just a bunch of crap. The people who get what they want allow themselves to want it, know what they want very clearly, and let nothing stop them. The wicked people of the world aren't usually the ones hung up on how their evil ways make them undeserving, and yet the generally decent but misguided self-flagellate and refuse to allow themselves to succeed. We stand in our own way, through lack of faith, lack of vision, lack of desire, and somehow feeling that to have what we want is wrong.
I am no fan of excess , luxury, greed, and wanton pursuit of pleasure. There is a difference between hedonism , however, and success.
Poverty mindsets get handed down through generations. It takes a lot of insight and sometimes a complete, deep reworking of our belief system to get beyond them. A poverty mindset is a self-limiting and destructive force that will run our lives for us, if we let it. It's that ugly voice that guards the wall between where we are, and where we haven't dared to even dream we could be.
Many never see that wall for what it is, much less question it. Some of us attempt to scale it, but it works with our fears, magnifies them, and we give up. We lie to ourselves and come up with convoluted plans on how to take that wall down...one day. Tomorrow. After we get more tools. Maybe after we take a class on Wall breaking. Next month, after this stress subsides....on and on. So, we let it win. Some of us will see it for what it is, and just completely bulldoze it. If we can't get ahold of a bullldozer, we can get a ladder and scale the wall. We will not use any excuses. It just comes down. That's when we can truly begin to live.
When the wall comes down, we finally see all the dreams and possibilities that were always there. We also see that while many people live lives in abject poverty, we were born with opportunities and freedom. Why would we deny the sacrifices of our forefathers to allow us to have what we have, and dishonor our blessing by throwing it away? Does it help starving children in Africa if I drive a beat- up car, or refuse to work on my talents? Does it honor sick, uneducated people if I also don't take advantage of educational opportunities, or other means to improve myself? No!
Do I deserve "it"? What I deserve in this life is what I believe I deserve, first and foremost. My actions will bring me what I have given out - but it may be now or later. I don't believe that I deserve sickness or illness, but rather health That extends to my emotional , and even financial health as well. As long as I let mistakes that I have made be my judge, and punish myself through denial, I will remain behind the wall.
What if, instead, we treated ourselves with the same grace and forgiveness we give our friends? WOW! I never judge my friend's mistakes and decide what they 'should ' deserve or 'should not"! Why do I do that to myself? Can you just imagine this conversation?
Friend Joy calls me up on the phone. "Hey, Lee, this is Joy. I have been racking my brain for an answer to this problem I have been having, and I think I have a great idea. Here's what I want to do, and it will allow my family to stop worrying about bills, go on vacation, pay off debt, save for retirement and get new hairstyles!" Joy is very excited and tells me she is writing a book, or recording a song. I know that Joy has tried this before, and did not reach the goals she had set previously. Also, I really love Joy and and she has always been a great friend. So, would I be a jerk and say to her, " Well, Joy... I am not sure about this plan. I mean, you tried this before, and it didn't work out. Maybe it's because you just don't deserve it. What you really deserve is to work your ass off for the rest of your life. I mean, C'mon, Joy. Dreams? Why should YOU have that when I don't, anyway? Why don't you get your head out of the clouds, girlfriend?"
Can you imagine?! Most of us would never treat a friend like that, never say or feel things like that. Yet ,we do it to ourselves. Can we not even muster up enough appreciation and love to treat ourselves with love? Kindness? Encouragement? Can't we see how vital these things are for the person we spend the most time with, the one we rely on most? Nobody can do this for us. Even for the fictitious example, "Joy", anytime we speak our minds or hearts to our friends, whether we encourage or discourage, ultimately the choice to truly live or simply exist comes down to the individual. So, going to person after person to bolster our dreams and encourage us is wonderful to an extent. Finally, though, we have to decide to act.
Faith and belief in ourselves need NOT come from looking back on our previous experiences to gauge our likelihood of success. We can learn from our mistakes, but we should not use those mistakes as a reason to give up. If everyone did that, Thomas Edison would not have come up with the light bulb. He flopped on that one over, and over, and over again. Most people would have given up. Those who don't- will succeed, one way, or another.
So, first- allow yourself to have a dream.
Determine what you really want, but allow for a surprise.
Weigh the cost. Understand the sacrifices. Anything worth going after will require hard work, time, and a focus of energy , possibly bordering obsession. Do you REALLY want it? Why? Have a clear why.
In addition to sacrifice, are you willing to continue when things get hard? Take it day by day.
Finally, Are you afraid to have what you want , based on an unhealthy poverty mindset? Remember, you share your wealth of experience and resources with others. If you are not being greedy and selfish, why feel guilty for having? You should not.
Again, remember to treat yourself with the same grace, kindness, and encouragement that you would a very good friend. Be honest and truthful with yourself. Ok, maybe the truth is that you are NOT good at singing despite much love and hard work, but you are a good songwriter, or promoter, or talent scout. That's ok, too. It doesn't mean you failed- look for another outlet for your love of singing and music, or just enjoy it in the car or shower. :) A dream diverted does not mean a dream denied. Dreams should fit , to a possible degree, with who we are.
So, know yourself. Don't get stuck on this step, though. Some people never find themselves...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tuesday Morning Musings
This morning is gray and cloudy...again. We get just enough sunshine to keep us hoping that we will actually have a summer. I feel sorry for seriously ambitious gardeners and farmers around here. I am going to find time to plant my starts into the ground today, but am wondering if I should build them a wood and plastic sheeting 'greenhouse'. I think a staple gun and some wooden stakes will do the job. I have some cantaloupe, cucumbers, squash, basil and chives, and some wax bean starts....oh, and bell pepper. Wish me good weather.
Dog Ownership...
So, as snarky as my teenage daughter can be, she made some good points while she was here. She asked why we had a dog when nobody seems to want to have her in the house, take care of her, or walk her much? She chases the cats, eats their litter, and wants constant attention and lots of play time. She will only do 'part' of her business outdoors, act like she's done, then come inside and be whining at the door again 6 minutes later. She's a lot of work. She makes messes, makes mistakes, and basically would test the patience of Job. She gets possessive of her food, her bones, her place by the sofa, her kennel. She shreds any stray paper, toy, or shoe.
She's still not quite a year old, with plenty of time where she has to mature and learn. She daily amazes me with her catching and fetching ability, ability to understand English and hand signals, capacity for affection and protectiveness. I also know, in my best moments, that she will only be a product of what we put into her. Though each dog has its own personality and temperament, it is up to us to guide her. Not that it's easy. She's an alpha female, to be sure. Having to keep her either in the garage or in the house, due to her tendency to knock down small neighbor children, and a whole lot of rainy months, has tried us all. She's not getting the 40 miles a day of running, jumping, chasing, and cattle herding this breed was meant to get. She has a lot of pent-up energy. Right now, she is in the garage. She was there all night. She could use a good, long walk. She needs breakfast. She needs lots of time to run around and be a ...dog. Here I am, in my p.j.'s, first cup of coffee...feeling guilty that I am not interested in making her the focal point of my morning, and then, of course, the entire day. My husband is a better 'dog person.' I tend to prefer the lazy cat, so I can be a lazy owner, I guess.
Then I remember something else. Small children. They don't contribute much in their first couple of years other than amazing cuteness and astounding growth. They bond themselves to your heart and soul, and you willingly spend your entire life focused on them, not really worrying about your sacrifices, but rather whether or not you are being a good parent, doing the right things to ensure the safety and well-being of your child.
Ok, dogs are not people, but like children, they get messy and make mistakes. They test your patience, they destroy household objects. They will behave badly. The point I am trying to make, I think- is that they need us. One day we may need them. Right now, we have a dog. We signed up for the lifelong care of this animal. There is no do-over. There is no "this is too much work, let's give her away to a nice rancher family." In other words, as with children, we have an obligation to train, care for, and nurture this animal. She considers herself part of our pack. We owe her our best. O.K. I admit it, I don't FEEL like going out into the drizzle, the wet, cold grass, to watch the dog poo. No, I really don't. I am not ready for the leash chewing, the barking, the excited wet paws on my thighs. I would rather just keep blogging about what I should do instead of actually doing it. I talk a good game.
Raw energy has so much potential. A raging river can destroy a valley and everything in it. Harness the energy with a dam, however, and power the town instead of flooding it. So, we must redirect and control the dog's energy, too. I need to go get my clothes and shoes on. There's a raging river in the garage...
Monday, May 30, 2011
Right Now, I Remember that my Choices come from my Beliefs.
My choices shape my every day, in ways I don't always realize until later. Today I accept that I made some choices today that I am not completely pleased with, but they were my choices. I accept them, as part of who I was when I made them. In order to make more pleasing choices going forward, I will remind myself of why I feel it is important that I make different choices, but this does not mean I will demean or diminish myself as less than worthy, because that will accomplish nothing but more negativity.
The truth is that it is not just each tiny step, but the overall direction I move in that matters. Some days I might not care if I ate too much, or neglected a chore, but other times I let these things bother me a lot. The more important things, like staying positive and continuing to walk in love, are the decisions that determine whether I am following the right course or not.
Today, right now, I accept myself as perfectly me. I may not live up to the standards of others. I might not please all of the people, all of the time. I let anger and defensiveness go about that- that is all just fear: fear of losing love, or of not being good enough to keep love in my life. The good news is that love never fails, it endures all things, it is patient, it is kind. It believes all things, hopes all things. I forgive my imperfections and those of others, and I thank God for the goodness and grace that has been given to me.
Today, at this moment, I am enough. I am loving and loved. I am intelligent and brave. I am quirky and funny, I am able and determined, I am strong and wise.
I am daily making the choice to reach out for what I want. I am neither undeserving nor unworthy of life's blessings, and I believe that true success is not measured in dollars, but in relationships. Let me be a student of love before all else.
Skills and talents are blessings to be shared, not trophies to be hoarded, nor are they measures of our worth. I believe I have talents and skills that are helpful to others- the most important kind.
Today, a touch or a smile may truly encourage someone, or make their day. Let me be quick to help, and slow to criticize. At this minute, I choose to stop being jealous when I am not included in everything that everyone does. I choose to not compare myself to the 'greatness' of others. My greatness is not theirs, and theirs is not mine. I fear no lack, there is more than enough love, fun, and time for me. I choose to be happy for others when they seem to have something that I don't. After all, I am blessed beyond measure! Let me count the ways!
Where there seems to be a lack, I will ask, and more will be given, because all my needs are supplied. ( The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want) means that I am more than taken care of, I will not want or go without.
Sometimes, if I am wanting for the wrong reasons, the wrong things, I need to ask myself if there is a reason that I am not getting whatever it is. Do I really HAVE TO have a nice, new car, or do I just need to be able to get where I want to go, and not be vain about it? Yes, it is ok to have what we want, within reason. But we should not be like spoiled children, expecting all the best toys and goodies, simply needing to extend our hand and grab them. Perhaps there is a time and place for the new car, and a time and place for the car that simply runs.
Today I release all the pain of my past. From childhood abandonment, to feeling as though I inadvertently abandoned my own children....I cannot undo the actions of my past, I cannot change people's perception of me, no matter how hard I may try to explain. All I can do, is NOW, TODAY, reach out my hand and my heart, as many times as I can, to those I love...and move forward. I will pray to be forgiven, I will live in forgiveness.
Nobody in my adult life did any wrong to me that I was powerless to end.
I forgive myself for unwise choices, and draw a line in the sand.
I rise above, remembering that anyone can fall
and fall again.
I would love to say that after what I have learned, I won't make mistakes again.
Funny, that.
There is always a song in our hearts. If we listen, it will carry us, and move through us.
Love- gives rise to hope, and
Hope is the fuel of dreams,
imagination gives life to ideas,
and sparks become a flame.
Seek always to fan the flame!
Listen to the wind, feel the sunshine on your face. Hear the breeze whisper through the trees. Sometimes, put down the washload, the vacuum, and just go seize the moment.
If you want more fruit in the garden, tend well to what you already have- and THEN plant more seed!!!
Lighter Notes:
My Favorite Things:
Dreamy music
Long summer days, when it's too hot.
Cool summer nights, when it's not.
Days off
Laughing til I cry
hugs
when someone knows you well enough to see through your mask, and loves you anyway
When that same person knows just what you need after a really rough day.
People who don't laugh when you break down and cry about it
Kielly's smile
Katie's laugh
Ashlyn's music
Lindsay's joy
Bailey's Hugs
grandma's wisdom
Mom's Grit and sweetness combined
Afternoon thunderstorms
rainbows
kitties
cashmere!
Spumoni
Key lime pie
cheesecake
medium rare T-bone
a really good salad
fresh berries
Spearmint
River rocks
the sound of a river
the waves of the sea
the sound of the breeze through palm fronds
crystal clear water, shining in Carribbean blue hues
Cutting through crowds
dolphins at play
horses in all their running splendor
heroes
The Supernatural
Make-up
Singing to the top of my lungs
singing softly
reading aloud for others
being able to make people laugh!
Baking!
sweets ( I confess)
Specifically, chocolate, food of the gods.
The truth is that it is not just each tiny step, but the overall direction I move in that matters. Some days I might not care if I ate too much, or neglected a chore, but other times I let these things bother me a lot. The more important things, like staying positive and continuing to walk in love, are the decisions that determine whether I am following the right course or not.
Today, right now, I accept myself as perfectly me. I may not live up to the standards of others. I might not please all of the people, all of the time. I let anger and defensiveness go about that- that is all just fear: fear of losing love, or of not being good enough to keep love in my life. The good news is that love never fails, it endures all things, it is patient, it is kind. It believes all things, hopes all things. I forgive my imperfections and those of others, and I thank God for the goodness and grace that has been given to me.
Today, at this moment, I am enough. I am loving and loved. I am intelligent and brave. I am quirky and funny, I am able and determined, I am strong and wise.
I am daily making the choice to reach out for what I want. I am neither undeserving nor unworthy of life's blessings, and I believe that true success is not measured in dollars, but in relationships. Let me be a student of love before all else.
Skills and talents are blessings to be shared, not trophies to be hoarded, nor are they measures of our worth. I believe I have talents and skills that are helpful to others- the most important kind.
Today, a touch or a smile may truly encourage someone, or make their day. Let me be quick to help, and slow to criticize. At this minute, I choose to stop being jealous when I am not included in everything that everyone does. I choose to not compare myself to the 'greatness' of others. My greatness is not theirs, and theirs is not mine. I fear no lack, there is more than enough love, fun, and time for me. I choose to be happy for others when they seem to have something that I don't. After all, I am blessed beyond measure! Let me count the ways!
Where there seems to be a lack, I will ask, and more will be given, because all my needs are supplied. ( The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want) means that I am more than taken care of, I will not want or go without.
Sometimes, if I am wanting for the wrong reasons, the wrong things, I need to ask myself if there is a reason that I am not getting whatever it is. Do I really HAVE TO have a nice, new car, or do I just need to be able to get where I want to go, and not be vain about it? Yes, it is ok to have what we want, within reason. But we should not be like spoiled children, expecting all the best toys and goodies, simply needing to extend our hand and grab them. Perhaps there is a time and place for the new car, and a time and place for the car that simply runs.
Today I release all the pain of my past. From childhood abandonment, to feeling as though I inadvertently abandoned my own children....I cannot undo the actions of my past, I cannot change people's perception of me, no matter how hard I may try to explain. All I can do, is NOW, TODAY, reach out my hand and my heart, as many times as I can, to those I love...and move forward. I will pray to be forgiven, I will live in forgiveness.
Nobody in my adult life did any wrong to me that I was powerless to end.
I forgive myself for unwise choices, and draw a line in the sand.
I rise above, remembering that anyone can fall
and fall again.
I would love to say that after what I have learned, I won't make mistakes again.
Funny, that.
There is always a song in our hearts. If we listen, it will carry us, and move through us.
Love- gives rise to hope, and
Hope is the fuel of dreams,
imagination gives life to ideas,
and sparks become a flame.
Seek always to fan the flame!
Listen to the wind, feel the sunshine on your face. Hear the breeze whisper through the trees. Sometimes, put down the washload, the vacuum, and just go seize the moment.
If you want more fruit in the garden, tend well to what you already have- and THEN plant more seed!!!
Lighter Notes:
My Favorite Things:
Dreamy music
Long summer days, when it's too hot.
Cool summer nights, when it's not.
Days off
Laughing til I cry
hugs
when someone knows you well enough to see through your mask, and loves you anyway
When that same person knows just what you need after a really rough day.
People who don't laugh when you break down and cry about it
Kielly's smile
Katie's laugh
Ashlyn's music
Lindsay's joy
Bailey's Hugs
grandma's wisdom
Mom's Grit and sweetness combined
Afternoon thunderstorms
rainbows
kitties
cashmere!
Spumoni
Key lime pie
cheesecake
medium rare T-bone
a really good salad
fresh berries
Spearmint
River rocks
the sound of a river
the waves of the sea
the sound of the breeze through palm fronds
crystal clear water, shining in Carribbean blue hues
Cutting through crowds
dolphins at play
horses in all their running splendor
heroes
The Supernatural
Make-up
Singing to the top of my lungs
singing softly
reading aloud for others
being able to make people laugh!
Baking!
sweets ( I confess)
Specifically, chocolate, food of the gods.
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